By Ahmet Abdulaziz…
After a pretty long period, I am now back to my old world. I am using the word “my world”, just to make it distinct. I have spent the last few months in a totally different world. Every day I found myself in a deep depression, after being cut off from almost all of my usual hectic activities.
Yes, as you all perhaps know, I went through a cataract operation on both of my eyes. Everything did not go as well as I had initially understood. The operation process indeed was the simplest part of the whole story. In fact, I had prepared myself wonderfully for the two operations, but I had not prepared myself at all for the period subsequent to that.
I had never thought, how I could be in a world where I could not read or write. It is very difficult for a person who loves writing and reading. Without reading or writing, I found myself in a deep depression. The more I tried to help myself out, the more I found myself lost.
This is what I have been through during the last three months.
First my right eye was operated on. Everything was fine after that, until the fourth week when all of a sudden I started seeing watermarks, black tiny dots in my eye. I was very shocked and panicked because nobody had earlier mentioned such a situation. My doctor tried to console me, but I was deeply shocked. At that moment I slipped into a deep depression. I decided not to get my other eye operated, simply because I did not want to put my left eye at risk.
My doctor delayed the next operation since she had realised that I was not calm enough to go through the operation of the other eye.
Ultimately I realised that I did not have any other option but to get my other eye operated on. The operation went through as normal, but the other day all of a sudden, my other eye started seeing everything too white, and I felt as if everything was muddy and cloudy. That was the worst time that I went through. One of my eyes had stopped seeing at all. I was seeing clouds everywhere. The other eye was operated on just a day before, and I was not supposed to put pressure on that.
I rushed back to the doctor in a state of extreme panic. She checked and found that the blood pressure inside my eye had shot up. She gave me some medicine and drops, and my eye returned back to normal, seeing everything. The clouds were no more.
But this period of a few hours broke me psychologically. For the first time in my life, I had experienced blindness. I had become extremely frightened. My family came to my rescue. But ultimately I became too careful in everything.
Right now I am re-scheduling my work so that I do not put my eyes under much pressure.
I am happy that I am back, and writing these lines and feeling happy as I return back to my “old world”.